Are We Dating The Same Guy London? Inside the Viral Group Protecting Women in the Capital
Whether you’re a woman looking to protect yourself or a man wondering what’s being said about you, knowledge is power.

Online dating has reshaped how we connect, but it’s also made deception easier than ever. One group pushing back against this culture of secrecy is the now-viral Facebook movement: Are We Dating The Same Guy London. With tens of thousands of members, it serves as a community-driven way for women to exchange information, uncover red flags, and, at times, confront dangerous behavior.
As the group grows in influence, so does the interest from both women and men, especially those wondering if their names or photos have appeared there. In response, some businesses have stepped in to help people discreetly check if they’ve been featured in these groups. This article explores what Are We Dating The Same Guy London is, how it operates, the controversy around it, and the role of new services designed to navigate this modern dating minefield.
What is “Are We Dating The Same Guy London”?
Are We Dating The Same Guy London is a private Facebook group where women share experiences about men they’re dating or have dated often anonymously. It operates on a simple premise: If you're unsure about the man you're seeing, you can post his photo and ask the community, "Does anyone have tea on this guy?"
The idea originated in New York City in 2022, quickly expanding to major cities worldwide. London’s group now boasts tens of thousands of members. Posts can include screenshots of dating app profiles, text messages, and personal accounts of infidelity, abuse, ghosting, or other dishonest behavior.
The goal? To prevent other women from falling into the same traps especially those involving serial cheaters, emotionally manipulative men, or even individuals with a history of violence.
How “Are We Dating The Same Guy London” Works
Membership to the group isn’t automatic. New users must answer screening questions and agree to strict community guidelines. Posts are moderated and often require approval. Women can submit screenshots, dates, locations, and brief descriptions of their experiences with a particular man.
Here’s how a typical interaction unfolds:
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A woman posts a man’s photo (usually from a dating app) and asks: “Any tea on him?”
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Other members comment with anecdotes or warnings—sometimes revealing overlapping relationships.
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If a man is recognized as a known abuser, scammer, or toxic dater, he may be flagged or reported.
Importantly, all members are expected to behave respectfully. The rules prohibit doxxing (revealing personal info like home addresses or workplaces), and moderators step in to manage disputes.
Real-Life Impact of the Group on London’s Dating Scene
Women in London have shared countless stories where the group helped them dodge bullets sometimes quite literally. One user posted a man’s profile who turned out to have been simultaneously dating three other women in the group. Another flagged a man with a restraining order in another city.
Many members see Are We Dating The Same Guy London not as a place to shame, but as a network for safety, emotional support, and truth-sharing in a city where dating can be lonely and dangerous.
This sense of community often empowers women to speak up. By sharing their stories, they’re helping others avoid harmful situations. Even emotional manipulation and ghosting while not illegal are frequently flagged so users can make informed decisions.
Risks & Controversies of “Are We Dating The Same Guy London”
While the group empowers women, it’s not without backlash. Critics argue that such platforms can easily turn into unregulated spaces for defamation.
Legal Risks
Men who believe they’ve been wrongly accused or misrepresented have threatened legal action, citing defamation and damage to reputation. In the UK, where libel laws are strict, this is a serious concern. Although group moderators typically include disclaimers like “We cannot verify the accuracy of the claims,” this doesn’t always shield them or the posters from legal consequences.
Retaliation & Doxxing
In some cases, men retaliate. Telegram groups have emerged to “doxx” or expose women who posted in these Facebook groups. Screenshots from the group are leaked, and personal information is sometimes shared in revenge. These toxic counter-communities reveal the risks involved in digital vigilantism.
False Allegations
There’s always the chance of misunderstandings or deliberate misinformation. A post based on hurt feelings or jealousy can potentially ruin someone’s reputation, even if the claims are baseless.
Ethical Dilemma
The big question remains: should morality be crowdsourced? While some see the group as necessary protection, others argue it normalizes online shaming, especially when there’s no verification system.
Why We Created a Business Around This: Helping Men Check If They’ve Been Posted
Given the group’s popularity and influence, many men are anxious about whether they've been featured especially those with public-facing jobs, large social followings, or messy dating histories. That’s where our business steps in.
We provide a discreet, confidential service for men to check if they have been posted in “Are We Dating The Same Guy London.” It’s not about dodging accountability it’s about being aware of how you’re perceived, ensuring no false or harmful information is circulating about you, and offering ways to respond constructively.
Our Core Services:
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Anonymous scanning of posts using internal monitors and AI pattern-matching.
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Confidential alerts if a match is found.
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Consultation with dating or PR advisors on how to respond or improve public behavior.
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Reputation management including response templates and legal options if necessary.
We believe in transparency, fairness, and second chances—not cancel culture. Our service helps bridge the gap between awareness and action.
How Men Can Use the Group Constructively
It’s easy to feel attacked or defensive if you find yourself featured in one of these groups. But it can also be a chance for self-reflection.
Constructive Steps Men Can Take:
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Listen to the feedback: Are there consistent themes (e.g., poor communication, ghosting, emotional detachment)?
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Take accountability: If you made mistakes, own them and grow.
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Speak respectfully: If you believe a post is false, there are ways to challenge it without escalating.
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Protect your mental health: These situations can be intense—don’t hesitate to seek support or coaching.
Your dating history doesn’t define younbut how you handle criticism might.
Is It Legal? Understanding UK Privacy and Defamation Law
Under UK law, defamation is when someone publishes a false statement that damages another’s reputation. Even within a private Facebook group, if someone’s full name or image is used, and untrue claims are made, legal consequences are possible.
However, group moderators try to avoid this by:
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Asking for anonymity.
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Requiring screenshots and evidence.
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Including disclaimers in group rules.
Still, if you believe a post about you is false and harmful, you should consult legal professionals. You may be entitled to request that the content be removed or take legal action in extreme cases.
Tips to Stay Off “Are We Dating The Same Guy”
Want to avoid ever being featured? Here’s what to keep in mind:
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Be honest about your dating intentions.
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Don’t juggle multiple people unless it’s consensual and open.
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End relationships respectfully—ghosting is one of the most common reasons people post.
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Communicate clearly, even if you’re not interested anymore.
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Treat people with empathy—it really goes a long way.
FAQs
What is “Are We Dating The Same Guy London”?
It’s a private Facebook group where women warn each other about men they’ve dated, especially those who’ve behaved dishonestly or dangerously.
How do I join the group or request a post removal?
You must be a woman to join. To remove a post, the original poster must delete it or a moderator must intervene. Our service can help flag posts and guide you through the process if you're involved.
Can I see if I’ve been posted in the group?
Not directly only members can see posts. However, our monitoring service can scan for your likeness and notify you if a post matches your profile.
Is this legal in the UK?
It's a grey area. The group adds disclaimers, but if a post is false and harmful, it could be legally actionable under UK libel laws.
What if someone posts false info about me?
You can seek legal advice, report the post, or ask moderators for removal. We also provide template responses and guidance on next steps.
Does your business have access to the group?
We work with publicly available data and input from clients who are already aware of potential mentions. We do not engage in deceptive behavior or unauthorized access.
How is my information kept confidential?
All client data is encrypted, not stored long-term, and never shared. We operate with 100% confidentiality.
Conclusion: A New Era of Online Dating Accountability
Are We Dating The Same Guy? is more than a group; it’s a shift in how people hold others accountable in the dating world. While not perfect, it offers a powerful tool for safety, support, and transparency.
As the line between online and offline lives continues to blur, it’s important to stay informed. Whether you’re a woman looking to protect yourself or a man wondering what’s being said about you, knowledge is power.